Why go to therapy?
I don’t go to Therapy to find out if I’m a freak
I go and I find the one and only answer every week
And when I talk about therapy I know what people think
That it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink
But oh how I love everybody else
When I finally got to talk so much about myself
- Dar Williams Do you hear in the sounds
Did you know, I’m training to be a counsellor?
This involves going to weekly therapy
I love my weekly sessions, sometimes it's hard to go to all the shadow places
But it’s been so helpful, understanding more, and processing all the things that got shoved aside when I didn't have the time or space to feel it.
Within the safe space of the therapy room, I feel able to share the parts of myself that I’ve kept to myself. I can and do share some of this with my closest people. But taking an hour to explore me in therapy is more reliable - Don’t get me wrong my closest ones are completely reliable but they have their own stuff going on we all have such busy lives. Also, the close people in our lives want and sometimes need us to feel better, they have skin in the game, so to speak, My therapy time is so dependable because it's in the diary and as it's my counsellor job they have the time and resources to support me during that hour. I never speak about myself, even to my close ones for an hour and there is something so powerful about allowing this amount of time to explore and go on a journey..
It might feel indulgent but I wholeheartedly agree with the poem that it actually makes me more available for the other people in my life. I can take hardships that come during the week and save them for the therapy space rather than leaking them all over the people around me.
The type of therapy I access is about giving me the tools to become more self-supportive so I don’t expect to carry this on forever but I am so grateful that I know how to find people who can help and support my inner world when I need it.